So my daughter had...

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So my daughter had...

Post  roseyg on Fri May 01, 2009 12:43 pm

her first fall! It wasn't even on her own horse! LOL. We were able to get her horse up here and she joined 4H with him. He is way to spirited for 4H. So she started using the instructors horse, a little 27 year old gelding. Well he spooked at her talking her jacket off on him and man can that little guy fly!! She did well till he took the second turn in the barn and off she went! I'm not sure if her pride or body got hurt the most. But now she will only ride the little guy that she fell off of. She won't take her guy out of the round pen! Go figure.
So now her horse has gone back and she is going to try my lazy boy. We can all envision him having a nap in the middle of the arena, waiting his turn! She got on him at my friends place on Monday and only lasted about 5 mins. She seems to have lost ALL her confidence on any other horse.
Now she is talking about selling her guy and getting herself a quiter on. As a mom I would love to see her on an "old nag" so to speak. But I'm not sure if I should let her or encourage her to just use mine till she gets her cinfidence back and then see or......
Any ideas people? I DO know this os a decission only I can make but I'm kinda sittin on the fence on this one.
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  EquineAlberta on Fri May 01, 2009 5:16 pm

How old is she? I think she and her 4H leader should discuss it rather than you and her. She may be more willing/able to discuss her fears with the coach than with you. Just let the coach know what the options are.

This way it takes dissappointing you out of the equation and her fear doesn't become a "thing" between the two of you. This also puts some of the responsibility on to the coach to resolve the fear; hopefully she has the tools/experience to be able to see the root of the issue and to know the best way to resolve it.

Karen
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  roseyg on Fri May 01, 2009 5:32 pm

She is 10. The 4H leader is backing me on making her use my boy instead of the leaders. We agree she has to get on another horse. We have a really great relationship so talking it out is not a problem and she knows that she is not disappointing me in anyway. She doesn't understand why she only wants to ride the one she fell off of either! She got back on the horse the same night she fell.
Still I'm not sure what to do. I'm thinking if she really wants to sell hers, she can and then wait till I get a barn here and she can then get one at the speed she is then.
I will discuss it with the leader though and see what she thinks.
Thanks.
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  JezzaBella on Sat May 02, 2009 1:56 am

I was about the same age the first time I fell. My sister forgot to tighten the saddle before I took off, and I slipped right off the side of his plump spotted self.

didn't scare me whatsoever, I tightened up the saddle and kept right on. I've fallen quite a few times since then, it's always a learning experience LMFAO.

I actually did the 'saddle slide' just recently, right along Hwy 2... Yay, I felt like a loser LOL.
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  roseyg on Sat May 02, 2009 8:02 am

"saddle slide" I like that! My first horse hated walking in the snow. I would get on, walk 2 feet, he would throw me off. Get back on, throw me off! And so on and so on. Man, I loved that horse!
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  EquineAlberta on Sat May 02, 2009 9:22 am

She wasn't able to use her horse for 4H before this happenned right? Selling seems to make sense if she isn't going to be riding that horse anyway and he isn't suitable. As long as she knows that selling isn't related to her falling off the other horse....you don't want her worrying that falling off is a big drama that results in horses being sold.

Karen
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  FehrGroundRanch on Sat May 02, 2009 8:23 pm

Well I am gald to hear that she is okay and didn't her herself or her pride to much! Give her a big ol' Kudos from me for getting back on a horse so soon, I know some adults that have never gotten back one!

If she wants to sell, let her. I always try to encourage kids to make their own decisions and then learn and live with them afterwards, weather it was the best thing to do or the wrong thing to do!
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  roseyg on Sat May 02, 2009 10:41 pm

I am proud of her for getting back on!
As for selling, 2 days ago she thought it was a good idea, yesterday however, there was NO WAY she would sell him. Today, well maybe if her friend wanted to buy him....
I think, she needs to think about this a little more. I agree that they need to make their own decisions.
I think she knows it is the best thing to do but she is only 10 and he is her first horse so she is afraid she will never see him again and what if some one took him to the meat market and what if.... Man that girls imagination can get the best of her at times!! LOL.
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  myevenstar on Tue May 05, 2009 12:24 am

JezzaBella wrote:I was about the same age the first time I fell. My sister forgot to tighten the saddle before I took off, and I slipped right off the side of his plump spotted self.

didn't scare me whatsoever, I tightened up the saddle and kept right on. I've fallen quite a few times since then, it's always a learning experience LMFAO.

I actually did the 'saddle slide' just recently, right along Hwy 2... Yay, I felt like a loser LOL.

AHAHA! That cracked me up. I had my mom riding with me one day on trails, she was riding my under 14hh pony ... ( my mom is tiny too). Anyways, towards the end of the ride, I said... Ok mom, now we are going to lope... I guess the saddle had loosened up quite a bit... because she and the saddle slid right off the side. Pony stopped right away good boy!


I cant count the number of times I have been in/ or watched horse wrecks over the years. Yeah, my first fall I would have been 11, and my brand new, green broke, arab mare galloped me straight through a plum tree. The impact was hard enough, that my shoes flew off my feet. After I cried a good bit, I limped back out there and had my dad put me back on her....

Kids are very resilient, she will bounce back. I really hope she toughs it out with him a little longer! As you said, it needs serious considerations, rather than whimsical ones. Maybe have her sit down and write down all the things she likes about her horse, all the things she doesnt. What makes her feel comfortable and what doesnt, what she wants and doesnt want to do- riding related, what she likes best about the trainers horse, and what she doesn't like etc etc....help her make an educated choice. This way you may also even start to make some connections in understanding why she is ok to ride the horse that dumped her, and not her own?
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  Satin on Tue May 05, 2009 12:21 pm

I can tell you that I've been riding since I started sitting on my own. I probably fell off my horse more times before I was 10 than most people have in their entire lives! My dad always checked me over to make sure that I was okay (which was always) and then toss me back up. (Literally, you have to get back on the horse.) When I was 18 I had a nasty accident in which my horse fell on me, bending the shank in my boot so far that the front of the heel was touching the sole. I didn't get tossed back on the horse, although I was certain that my foot wasn't broken. (Turned out that if I had broken it, it would have been less painful!) Anyway, it took me a long time to get my confidence back up and I still fight with it. Try to be understanding to her discomfort.

Is there another rider who is maybe less experienced and around her age that you can put on the horse who threw her? Seeing that someone who isn't as experienced as you are able to handle the horse sometimes gives you the confidence you need to do it again. That worked for me in another situation.

Remind your daughter that sometimes horses get scared and that's normal. He didn't mean to scare her back and it would be a real shame if she decided to give up on something so much fun over 1 bad ride. Tell her about some of your bad experiences and that you feel that she is brave enough, strong enough and grown-up enough to get back up to riding. Make sure that she knows that it'll be tough, but that you'll be there to make sure that she's okay. Support and confidence from you will go a long way with her.
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  roseyg on Tue May 05, 2009 1:14 pm

Oh Satin I think you got it wrong. The horse that she fell off of is the only one she will get back ON!!! LOL. She knows I back her 100%. She is still riding in 4H 3 times a week, just not on her own horse, who is too high spirited for 4H anyways. She doesn't want to hear my stories any more, she says she knows them of by heart!
As it turns out, she has asked to Dad to talk to a friend of ours about buying her horse for his daughter, without me knowing, because she didn't want me to worry. Man I love my kid!!!!
Which brings me to another question for the more experienced horsey people. In todays market, what would ask for a 16 year old Standardbred. 15hh. well seasoned, neck reins, lots of get up and go, and can go all day. I paid $2500.00 for him last summer, but not sure what to ask for him now.
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  Satin on Tue May 05, 2009 1:35 pm

RoseyG - the kid is totally bassackwards! LOL I wouldn't even know what to do with her.

As for the price, that seems to be right in-line with where he should be priced. I might even ask a bit more if he's as bomb-proof as the standardbreds (former racers) that I'm familiar with. There's something really nice about a horse who doesn't have all the hang-ups.
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Re: So my daughter had...

Post  roseyg on Tue May 05, 2009 1:49 pm

I can't figure my girl out either! lol. She can't even explain it. I have heard from a couple of people that prices have dropped on horses in the last while, that is why I was asking. Knowing the horse like we do, I think that is more then fair. But They are friends (kinda) and how bad do I want to get rid of him? That is the question.
Bye the way Satin, welcome to the forum! And thanks for the input.
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