Anyone with advice?

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Anyone with advice?

Post  smolcicacreage on Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:26 am

Hi I need some advice. I am just learning again how to handle horses and how to work with them. My problem is that I use to ride occasionally, until I was takin for a wild ride on the back of a clydesdale ( and then stepped on when I finally got off). Ever since than ( 15 years or so ago) I have had this fear of being with horses. I have decided that I want to learn again. I bought a beautiful quiet 2 yr old palino. Over the fence is fine but as soon as she starts to approach me I panic. So hence my husband does all the work with her. I really want to spend time with her on my own buttttttt Im fearful of her power. One day last year I decided the heck with it Im doin it. I took her off the post my friend tied her to and took her for a walk until she started pushing on me. I took her into a circle but she kept pushin everytime we came out, to the point that I had to have my friend take her back. Sooo any suggestions on how to overcome this fear and feel confident again would be greatly appreciated.

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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  EquineAlberta on Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:39 pm

A two year old horse is like a young teenager; they push the boundries and don't always know their own limitations to keep themselves (and you) safe. They have a habit of acting first, then MAYBE thinking about it later.

My advice would be to get an older horse that is more likely to think before acting, and that has seen enough of the world to be a little more predictable in its reactions. or if you don't want to give up your horse, take lessons at a barn that is willing to help you work through your fear.

Once you have that older horse, you need to recondition yourself slowly. First step is imagining yourself working with the horse from the safety of your house. THen imagine yourself with the horse when you are near the horse. THe do the most basic things with the horse. At each step if you start to panic, go back to a point that you felt safe. Forcing yourself despite your fear is just going to reinforce your subconcious reaction of being fearful around the horses.

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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  wildrosepony on Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:15 pm

i think EquineAlberta's advice is great...I would go further by suggesting some riding lessons too.
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  JezzaBella on Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:02 pm

I agree with both of the posted replies, 2 yr olds are notoriously bratty (teenagers, geesh!). If they even get the hint they ar ethe boss, and you show it in your body language. They run with it.

Knowledge is power, I agree with taking lessons. Take up some horsemanship clinics as well, which will help you with your on the ground fears. I hope you do take up advice and get an older, well trained and quiet horse. Not to say you should get rid of your 2 yr old, but you can use the courage and experience you can gain from lessons and clinics to help your young'n get started under saddle properly. I advice using a trainer for that as well, not to do it all FOR you... But to teach you as well on the way.

Sometimes scary things happen, when you least expect it. You just gotta find the strength within yourself not to let it sway you so much. I've been kicked in the head and in turn slammed headfirst into the concrete floor. I was honestly in a bad place at a bad time, it was more a learning experience for me than anything. Horses are for sure powerful and can be daunting at times, never to be taken for granted... But us humans are also highly intelligent critters (er, most of us LOL). The more you know, the more you can read your horse the less chances you have of having a scary moment. They are still living breathing thinking animals, and you really never know. Just learn from the scary moments as much as from the happy ones, and always be glad when you come out unscathed lol.
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  Gypsy_Vanner on Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:20 pm

I would have to agree. When I first read your post the first thing that went through my head was why didn't she get an older horse. A 2 year old is great but not for someone who already has a fear of horses. They are like everyone else says, pushy teens. They don't understand alot of what your asking them, get confused easily and your having to teach them what the boundaries are which will be difficult for you considering your afraid of the horse.

If you decide though that you are going to keep the young horse instead of getting an older model, fine. But I would suggest no more walks. Start by just being around the horse, maybe when it's tied up for grooming. That way if you feel pressured you can backaway for a little, re-asses the situation and then continue from there. You may feel a little safer knowing that you can get away but the horse can't follow. Also your going to have to at least learn to discipline for naughty behaviour such as rubbing on you or walking into you. Big gestures, slaps with hand or the end of the lead rope and loud noises when you feel encrouched upon, remember you can't possibly hurt the horse with any of these techniques but the horse has to realize that you are not going to be pushed around even well tied up.

Lessons are a VERY good idea. Clinics would be a good place to start as well. Have someone around when you wrk with the horse that way you have a safety blanket of sorts. Good Luk.
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Re help advice

Post  smolcicacreage on Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:58 pm

I am def. planning on taking riding lessons this year. The reason I bought my little girl ws because her and I had bonded at the auction. And she is still a good girl. She lets me brush her , play with her ears and touch her legs, in fact I was just out groomin her earlier. But she does know my fear and its a game to her, I can sense that when I am around her. I actually wanted one alot younger than her to start with so that we could bond from day one but unfortunately the only horse I did that with sold , so I no longer have access to her. Will read, listen, and take all the advice I hve been given and any more that someone may have.. thanks from the bottom of my heart!!

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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  Reinergirl on Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:52 pm

A green horse and a green person do not mix - it's a common misconception made by quite a few inexperienced people, and usually does not end well. You need an older "been there done that" horse that you can gain confidence with. A two year old will continue to challenge you, and may even end up in you getting hurt if you are nervous about working with her. I'm assuming this horse isn't broke to ride yet - are you planning on getting someone to train her? I've been riding for 20+ years, taking lessons, owning horses, etc... and starting two year olds is one of the biggest challenges you can face as an equestrian. If that two year old gets away with anything with you, either on the ground or on her back, she is going to exploit that weakness every chance she gets, and it could turn into a potentially dangerous situation.
Sorry if I'm being blunt, but a young horse and inexperienced rider never mix. And it's not about bonding - it's about asserting yourself as her "herd leader" - you need to have absolute confidence in order for her to look up to you and gain the confidence that she needs as a young horse.
I wish you luck, but if you're already having your doubts this early on, I'd save yourself (and your horse) a lot of heartbreak and frustration by selling her to someone who has the ability to train her properly. Right now, neither you nor your horse has the confidence or knowledge to teach each other anything - you will both end up confused, frustrated and just not happy with each other!
Again, not meant to upset you - it's obvious that you love her and want to do the best you can by her, but honestly, it will be very tough for you.
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  Gallamist on Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:37 am

I won't comment on the green horse and green rider combo. I was GREEN and was always on the back of a greener horse. Never once was I injured nor was the horse.

Anways, I would definetly take some lessons with someone even if that means using an older more been there done that horse until you can gain more confidence to work with your filly.

Do NOT let the horse know she is strong then you. Thats the key...once they know they will take full advantage of it..especially the bratty teenagers. Wink
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  myevenstar on Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:19 pm

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Advice from a former Green on Green = Black and Blue

Post  Painted Geisha on Sat May 02, 2009 4:11 pm

I think you should hook up someone who practices natural horsemanship who can teach you lots of confidence building groundwork for you and your horse. That's what I did and it has probably saved me from more serious injuries. I got into horses later in life and bought an older horse (on everyone's advice), but he was over schooled and too big for me. He was a former higher competition jumper who had lots of previous riders so he never had a good bond with one owner. I just wanted to love up my horse and hack around, but I was telling him things I had no idea I was and getting dragged around. When he got permanently injured jumping a fence to rejoin the herd, I got two two year olds and tried the Parelli thing. A guy from our barn told me one day that he wanted to work with me before I got myself killed because I was either really brave or too stupid to be scared:) The most telling thing in your post is that your horse knows you're scared and plays on that. Horses are experts at body language, a natural horseperson can stand back and tell you what your horse is saying to you and what you are saying to your horse with your body language. You don't have to do Parelli..before people start hacking on it. I have used different sources and have one horse that I brought from an unhandled, rearing, kicking 2 yr old to a total sweetheart who I can ride in a rope halter.

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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  FehrGroundRanch on Sat May 02, 2009 8:28 pm

I am by no means a die hard NHer as I like to call them (People who practice Naturual Horsemanship) but I really think that in your case a natural horsemanship clinic/lessons might be really good for you. It sounds like you and your horse really need to learn how to communicate with each other.

I also won't comment on the often used phrased "Green on Green makes Black and Blue." to much either, BUT....When I was green I rode green horses all the time and I learned ALOT!
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  Janus on Sun May 03, 2009 10:46 pm

So what do you want to do...have fun riding a horse or be a horse trainer?

If you want to enjoy riding and being on the trail, with friends and having fun get the been there done that horse and just enjoy. Later on move to the younger horse when you understand the equine mind and your reaction to it.

If you aspire to learn how to train horses keep the two year old and take the courses, get the trainer, pay your dues and then enjoy the horse.

Look where you want to go then find a way to get there....

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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  Gallamist on Mon May 04, 2009 9:16 am

I also won't comment on the often used phrased "Green on Green makes Black and Blue." to much either, BUT....When I was green I rode green horses all the time and I learned ALOT!

Ditto! My very first horse was a OTTB who had been through multiple homes because she was to much horse for the previous owners....hehehe Learn lots in a quick hurry! . Wink
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  FehrGroundRanch on Mon May 04, 2009 1:17 pm

That's right I think a green rider and green horse are okay as long as you have a good coach, mentor, or friend looking out for you at all times!
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  Janus on Mon May 04, 2009 1:51 pm

I agree with all of you in certain cirmcumstances BUT Smol is a rider over 30, I think and she has had a difficult trama and needs to approach her problem from a different level than all of us who have learned from when we were young and had no fear and have not been in her shoes. I was young once, rode everything did anything with them with confidence and had a wonderful time, had some problems at times but was young...now that I am up there in age I have a different set of feelings when I approach a horse that I do not know and have no past experience with. This lady imo really needs to get that been there done that horse and have FUN so she can relax so the horse can relax and know there is nothing to fear. But I still feel Smol needs to look inward as I first posted.

We all know horses feed off of our emotions and when the rider is scared any young horse would be scared.... Isn't fun and enjoyment what it is all about? When it comes down to it I have only a few sentences to judge where this lady is at and she needs someone to help her. Imo it is all her decision ...more money now or more money later; more fun now more fun later............

I had a neighbor that had a similar problems and really wanted to get a horse after not having one for 15 years...she is 32 with three kids...no trama..just wanted a horse, something for her. I advised the been there done that horse, that after she was through with it and wanted the younger one she could then use it for her kids. She fell in love with a very pretty 5 yo with half a dozen rides. She did not have any friends to ride with consistently and no coach and was not interested in any horse sport as a goal to work towards. She would ride with my neighbor or myself or other riders in the neighborhood occasionally but it was a pain...we had to ride over to pick her up, she would not cross creeks, was afraid of going into the trees or down hills...You all know what happened... horse got scared one day on a ride, she got scared and we had to take her home and didn't ride the horse for a year. Her husband sent it off to a trainer for a month, who said the horse was a sweetheart. Got it back home and same thing happened...so now the horse stands in her pen and never goes anywhere and no one is having any fun.

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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  FehrGroundRanch on Mon May 04, 2009 3:17 pm

I do agree that you need a different approach for a different person, same as she might not react to the same as the woman in your story. And I'm not sure exactly what age has to do with this? Not trying to be rude, but obviously we have are on a different wave length here...lol

My hubby is in his 30's and he started off as a green rider on a green horse just recently! Him and his horse both did very well together and learned alot.
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Re: Anyone with advice?

Post  Janus on Mon May 04, 2009 9:17 pm

30 is young and with a clean slate and confidence it is a good time to start riding......

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Advice

Post  Painted Geisha on Wed May 06, 2009 2:29 pm

"So what do you want to do...have fun riding a horse or be a horse trainer?"


All riders/owners are trainers! Everytime we handle our horse we train it how to act and how to treat us. The original poster didn't sound like she wanted to give up on her horse, but she still needs to learn how to work on herself at the same time as her horse. I wasn't suggesting that she be the next Clinton Anderson, but she needs to know how to lead, groom, and handle the horse for the vet and ferrier herself, and safely. It is not about sending the horse out to a trainer, having it 'fixed' and getting it back. As a previous poster gave a perfect example, 30 days didn't solve the problem of having a nervous rider. Most problem horses are the product of problem people. Killing with kindness wrecks a horse too. If you are a horse owner, it is very different than showing up at the lesson barn, getting on your very broke, very tolerent lesson horse, having your hour lesson, and going home. My horses really pushed my Mom around until I taught her how to 'be the head mare', my horses know not to stand on top of me or push me around because I was taught by a friend to be consistent and use my body language to communicate with them.

I've had three mature geldings that I didn't bond with anywhere near what I have with my young ones that I did all the ground work myself up to backing. I still consider myself green and I have done well with my young ones, but not without boken bones in my ankle and foot, countless bruises, injured joints, having the wind knocked out of me, and crying in frustration Embarassed .

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